STARS 11

“What is the difference between an obstacle and an opportunity? Our attitude toward it.

Every opportunity has a difficulty, and every difficulty has an opportunity.” ―J. Sidlow Baxter

After thinking about this quote I've come to the conclusion that Baxter is telling us that we can turn an obstacle into an opportunity and vise versa. We should be positive people to be able to turn any obstacle into an opportunity. With doing that we can feel more motivated to accomplish something. For example, I had the opportunity to apply to be a desk receptionist for the residence halls. The difficulty was going through an interview. I decided to turn that difficulty into an opportunity by think, "Well even if I don't get the job, I could use this interview as good practice for a future job" With thinking that I went in and did my best in the interview. 

10 Commandments of Good Leadership

I enjoyed the article. I agreed with all her commandments, especially with empower through modeled behavior. I believe this might be the key commandment because it coexists with all the other mentioned commandments. If one shows modeled behavior to the group they are leading then the group will follow their leadership and follow the same path. If the leader does not model good behavior and only tells and expect their group to follow instructions, they will never achieve positive results. Why should a group communicate effectively within themselves or be supportive of each other if their leader does not show those qualities towards them? I believe this is the most key commandment of Schlacter's list, and I hope I able able to demonstrate it next time I lead a group. 

Skills I do believe I have and demonstrate effectively are self-awareness, ability to give recognition and support, and to always listen to the members of the group. I do hope I am able to gain a greater sense of the other skills through future experience, because I believe they will be beneficially for when I go out into my future career field. 

Reconnect with Your Authentic Self Instead of Denying Your Feelings

After reading the article and reflecting on it I've decided that everything the author, McAuley, can pertain to anyone, depressed or not. To have a health mindset one should be in tune with their feelings, instead of bottling it all inside.

I believe this article does relate to social justice and leadership. It relates to leadership because as a leader you need to know what your goal is and need be in tune with your inner self to be able to lead a group to reach a goal. As a leader one has to know how to deal with hard times and be able to see self worth. The article related to social justice because in order to tackle social justice a person should be in tune with their feelings. Knowing how you feel helps you have a clearer view of what the injustices. McAuley says, "witness your reactions to get to the core reasons behind your emotion." In regards to social justice, I believe if we are aware of our reactions we will be able to see what we are passionate about doing and motivate us to continue doing our work. Because in my experience working with social justice issues tigers emotions.


Family Matters

Today was our last day with at Family Matters. I was sad leaving because I did enjoy going over to help and seeing how Ashaki ran Family Matter. I thought I had built a relationship with Giselle, my mentee, but today I felt that it had all been thrown away. For the first time since I've known her she was rude and gave people attitude. It shocked me and I didn't know how to react to it. Nisha and Roshni came in with their mentor the room they were in and they asked if they could come in. And my mentee automatically yelled no and said to get out. I was shocked she had never behaved that way. She was then upset because a girl she didn't get along with was also coming in to work in the same room. I had to explain to her to be nice and that they were both working on separate projects so they would not interact. I felt that we left in a bad note, and wished we could have talked about why she was acting out. She then ran off to play with her friends in the park, and I didn't like the way she was acting. I think it might have to do with her wanting to seem mature because she's at that age where boys start to matter and where girls just want to be grown up. After seeing that I wished that I was able to volunteer at family matters longer. 

STARS 10

“Pain is not a sign of weakness, but bearing it alone is a choice to grow weak.” ~Lori Deschene

I believe the quote is saying we can either take pain and hardship and let it break us or we can convert that into motivation. I believe this is a good quote to live life by because it motivates one to convert stress to help you succeed. This can be helpful for us college students, since we always feel like we alway have a load of stress on our shoulders.


Family Matter.

If felt weird going back to Family Matters after not going for two weeks. I felt my mentee was distant from me, and it took me awhile while to get my mentee talking again. But even when I did finally did get her to talk she didn't talk as much as she should had. I did feel frustrated with her because we were working on a goal sheet and I tried to get her to think of a serious goal. Her goal was to get a suger rush. I asked her to think of something school related so she then said get straight A's. But throught out the worksheet she kept referring to her sugar rush goal, so I decided to just let her pursue her goal through the worksheet. This frustrated me because I felt she was being goofy in order to avoid thinking about realistic goals. I thought if I let her play along with her sugar rush goal she would then forget about it, but she did not. She continued to refer back to it. That is something that frustrated me, and I need to find a way have her think about her education a little more seriously.

Goals.
So far most of my goals are being fulfilled. One goal I have been slacking on is working out. I really need to start working out to help me relieve stress especially in the next few weeks.

A way I have began to achieve my school goals is by making a check list. Now that I use a checklist I know what to finish and it feels nice to be able to check something off.

Leadership Development.
I feel that my leadership has developed by learning to communicate and influences others. For example, when I have to talk with my mentee sometimes I have to influence her do her homework or to make better decisions. I usually don't like group work but after being in LEAD I have begun to enjoy it.

Article.
The article was comforting especially because I do not have an internship. When I came to college I had planned to have one for my sophomore year fall semester but I've discovered that I'm busier than I would have thought. I thought the suggestion to stay on campus and make connection was a good idea, and is something I plan to do next summer. The one I thought would be hard do is the last suggestion to learn a new skill. That is usually my summer goal for every year but I have always failed. I especially liked the study abroad suggestion because it is what I will be doing this summer. I have enroll in the Political Science class in Tunisia and I am pretty excited to explore a new culture and experience things I never have before. I am also be excited to see the U.S Embassy in a foreign country.

STARS 9

I overall enjoyed giving family matters a tour. I wished my mentee was able to attend. If we were to ever do a tour again I think that doing smaller groups would be easier to handle, because there were times the group of kids got noisy. I think planning out the tour more specifically would have also been beneficially.

Carlos Wallance Leadership style: His leadership style seems to go off what he would have wanted when he was younger and what would have worked for him. I think he reflected from his own youth and found within him how he became motivated to turn his life around. He applies his real life experience with what he believes can motivate his students.

How it relates to servant leadership: Carlos Wallance has many of the servant leadership characteristics. He does listen to his students because he cares about their best interest. Wallance also empathizes with them because he knows what it feels like to be in their spot, so he can relate. Carlos Wallance is committed to see his students grow academically, and to create a better community to allow this to happen.Being aware of the situations his students face and dedicating time to help heal and create a new vision for his students is another way his leadership style relates to servant leadership.

Social Justice Issues: The social justice issue in this video revolve on education and how black males are at risk of dropping out of high school. Many students feel hopeless due to their situation and believe they do not receive justice in the school system because there is usually not someone there that can relate to them or understands them. In the video they also mentioned how some students feel they are treated differently because they are of different race from their teacher and do not feel motivated to put effort in their education.

How the school system is failing the community: It is failing the community but not serving the community. The video talked about how some teacher do not put attention to some of the students because they do not know how to relate to them or understand their background.

How to address the needs of the students: Some problems arise out of the misunderstanding that there is racism between the teacher and the students. Regardless of whether if it is true or not a teacher need to make it straight forward that they are not being racist and set standards for the students. Like Carlos said, "I teach my students everyday as if they were aiming for A's"

What I've learned that I can apply as my role as a mentor: I think Carlos Wallance leadership style is a great learning tool. He shows the importance of setting expectations for students because most of the time students don't have someone in their life setting standards or expectations for them. As a mentor I have also learned that I need to encourage my mentee to reach those expectations, because once a child sees that someones believes in them and sees they have potential they begin to believe in themselves and begin to acquire those or even greater expectations for their future. Also looking back on my own experience on education, I've always had someone there to set standards for me and to achieve my goals and aspirations, which convinces me children do need someone there to believe in them and give them a little push.

STARS 8

I  believe Ellen DeGenere's is completely right. I think we all find ourselves in tough times and can only see the negativity in situation. Seeing the bad side of things only makes getting through the situation even tougher. By making the shift to happiness, we can feel more motivated to find a solution and get through the difficulties. I do apply this to my life. When I am having a tough week and am feeling stress all I want to do is sleep and just forget about it all. But no, I remind myself as soon as I finish all my task and get through the week my I will be able to fully enjoy my weekend. I use the shift from negativity to positiveness to motivate myself.

I love talking to my mentee. She is very talkative and is easy to have a conversation with. I also just now found out that right after we mentor some of the kids have homework mentors, including mine. So now we usually don't do homework unless she has a load. Last week we did a puzzle and she started opening up about her family, which she normally doesn't give too much information about. Her opening up about it shows me she does trust and does want to build a relationship. I'm excited for the kids to visit next week. My only fear is that it will be cold, and the tour will not be as enjoyable.

Just reading the Optimist Creed makes me feel happy. Every time I read something like that it makes me think, "You know what? Yeah! You're right! Let's be happy!". I think a strength in the creed is where it mentions to encourage all your friends. I think this is important because to be a happy positive person you need to surround yourself around them.


“if you look for what you can learn
from problems and failures, you’ll be looking at the sunny side. More important,
you’ll be on your way to making your optimism come true”

I think the previous quote is significant because it is telling us to stop making the same mistake. We should learn from them to prevent them and never make them again. To be a leader we should be optimistic and learn to move forward because if we don't we will never make any progress.


Although it's sad their closings schools, I think it's good that they are changing the funding formula. I think that is good because the previous formula was not working as efficiently as it should have. I don't feel comfortable that they are skewing the funding towards only early education and high school only, because it leave out the middle. I think the kids left in the middle should be most concentrated on because they are at the age where you should "suck them into education"

After reading this I felt Gandhi was telling us to take control of our lives and to be responsible. We are in charge. The strengths I saw were to keep growing and evolving and without action you aren't going anywhere. I think these are important because they are telling you to not stay in one place, and reminding us that you can't become a doctor with just saying you want it, you have to do  it too. We all want to be better leaders, so in order for this to happen we ourselves have to keep learning and evolving to better serve our team.

STARS 7

You’ve got to dance like there’s nobody watching,

Love like you’ll never be hurt,

Sing like there’s nobody listening,

And live like it’s heaven on earth.

―William W. Purkey

When I read this quote I got the implication that the authors wants his readers to put full emotion and effort into all their activities, and not worry about the harsh critiques. The only part I didn't really understand was the last line. I feel that I do apply some of the aspects to my daily life. For example, when I read the third line, I receive the implication the author wants us to not take everything so seriously and enjoy ourselves. I do like to take time out of my life to hangout with friends after doing homework and just release all the stress by being "goof-balls". 

During my spring break, I did nothing. I relaxed, and it was great. I did plan on catching up on some reading and notes for classes, but it didn't workout as great as I would have liked. I didn't mind though, because I truly needed to relax. I also spent time with my siblings, which was great  because I really miss them when I'm at school. 

I enjoyed reading the article. I thought the article was telling us to take everything life presents us as a gift to better ourselves and others. I implied that the articles was also telling us to take control of are lives, because we are able to shape them into anything we please as long as we work hard for it. This article is usefully for a group of leaders to read because a leader should have a good mindset. The traits the authors speaks of are also essential for a leader to inquire. Such as, the sixth, "Remain positive and focused through failure". I believe this might be the most important of all seven. This is because I believe it is essential for a leader be positive; if a leader is not positive why should the rest of the team remain positive? If a leader gains a negative attitude, it just set the team up for failure. I would like to reach a higher mindset. a trait I would like to improve is to embrace challenges. I am able to accept them but not embrace them. The next challenge I will have to embrace is my ethic test, because it's the class I have no idea what is going on. 

So far I have enjoyed my experience at Family Matters. I find it interesting to connect with  a child that comes from both a similar and different background than me. I occasionally find myself comparing her life to my life when I was her age. I believe the whole STARS LEAD and Family Matter project/group work effective and would not change anything about them. 

I don't really think I have a theme song, but this is the song I was listening at the moment. I listen most of this group's music while I do homework because it's calming yet it's still motivating. I don't relate to the song lyrics at all, but I do find it catchy and easy to sing too. This just happens to be one of my favorite songs from them because I find it a little tropical. The fact that it is tropical is significant to me because most of the music I grew up listening to had that tropical feel to it, and this song hits close to home. 

http://youtu.be/Qd_dNHh3PSo

I like the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt. It tells us that we are responsible for our lives and responsible for the end product. She is telling us regardless of our upbringing we have the ability to become who we want to become in the future. I think this is encouraging, especially for those brought up in bad neighborhood. I do apply this to my everyday life. Since I come from a first generation family, my parents did not have the chance to go to college in the U.S, and always remind us that we came to the U.S so we can take advantage of the opportunities of bettering our lives. I apply this quote to my everyday life because I know I have the opportunity to take advantage of resources my parents didn't have in their country.

On the last reflection meeting, that took place on February 22nd, I had lots of confusion. I enjoyed the experience of the conversation but I also felt confusion. I think it was because I still don't know what to identify myself with. 

I found the matrix of oppression depressing. This is because most of the social categories I identify myself with are either the targeted group or the border social groups the targeted. According to the matrix of oppression I should as a target group but I feel this to be true mostly with race.

I can relate this to my leadership experience by encouraging others to not fall into the idea of oppression. I could encourage other to not be discouraged if they fall into a targeted social group. I believe many of us in STARS fall into 2 or more of the targeted, but we do not allow it to stop us from achieving higher positions. All of us as leaders can encourage other to become involved in movements and to achieve higher aspiration, regardless of if we fall into a target or border social group.

After reading the article, I felt that I should start meditating. I have tried to meditate before but I find it difficult. My reaction to meditation is exactly what the article described, I begin to panic and feel as if I'm wasting my time. I also do not see a benefit and feel like a hippie. When I was in cross country our assistant coach tried to make us mediate during practice as we began to go into our competitive season. I did not like it at all, and refused to do it. I felt that our time could be better spent. Some of the girls did like it but these were the slower lazier girls on the team. So ever since then I think I've associated laziness with mediation. I also did not understand how our assistant coach expected us to just sit there while our competition was working out on the track or doing core. Luckily, our head coach understood and only forced us to mediate once and then allowed us to work on other core when the others meditated. Although the article mentions makes it seem as if ten minutes is not much, in reality it truly is. In the ten minutes, we would have meditates we could have ran  a warm and then began our workout. Here at school, in ten minutes I can type up this blog, finish half of a reading assignment or have lunch. The closest thing I have gotten to meditating is to listening to relaxing music while I get ready on day I have late class.

Last week at Family Matters my mentee and I continued looking at high schools. I also learned about the selective high school process from my mentee. The process put lots of pressure on these students at such a young and i don't think that is healthy for them, because it makes them feel like failures at such a young age. I did my best to encourage her and tell her she could easily get into the school if she worked hard and continued to pay attention and respect her teacher. I have also noticed many of these kids feel the need to be against authority or appears as if they don't respect them. My mentee talked about how much she hated her teacher and talked back to him. I told her regardless if she liked him or not, she had to respect him. I tried put it in terms that made sense to her but I still don't think it went through to her.

For my spring break I don't have plans other than to rest and study for the test I have right after spring break.

STARS LEAD #4

"Now is the acceptable time, not tomorrow, not some more convenient season. It is today that our best work can be done and not some future day or futre year. It is today that we fit ourselves for the greater usefulness of tomorrow. Today is the seed time, now are the hours of work, and tomorrow comes the harvest and the playtime."

- W.E.B DuBois

After reflecting upon the quote I believe DuBois is right. He is telling us not to waste time or hesitate on opportunity that can better our lives. He is encouraging us to be outgoing and to put ourselves out there.   I would like to think I do apply this to my everyday life, but I do not. I seems to always hesitant to making decisions. Which is a habit I need to break. 

I enjoyed our gathering on Friday. I was glad I was able to meet up with the other members and just bond. 

I agreed with the author's argument of saying technology is a distraction, but I don't necessarily believe it is ruining our lives. My phone is definitely a distraction for me. When I do my homework I sometimes have to leave in room so I won't be tempted to check it.  When I do homework on my computer I block social media websites so I don't become distracted for longs periods of time. Saying this I would be ten times more productive without my phone. To increase our interactions among each other requires technology at some times. For example, right now to increase interaction with my family, I rely on technology to communicate with them. I also believe that there is a time to put away your technology and pay attention to the people in front of you. I have a pet-peeve of people constantly checking their phones while they are eating with other people. This makes it seem like the person is not paying attention and they are not interested in the other person, and that's rude. 

I believe the article was accurate. I can relate to it because if I have a bad day or bad week, it always gets better sooner or later. I have never really thought about it, but I figured "that's just the way things go. ". I never thought to consider it as a pattern of the universe. To maintain some sort of balance I have to have a checklist of things I need to do, even for the simplest task. Having a checklist makes me feel like I'm accomplishing things in my life. My main accomplishment is to just have better time management skills. I believe once I improve my time management skills things will fall into place.